March 30, 2003
-
This is the first of what will hopefully be a very eccletic collection of dreams, ramblings and every day musings.
For instance, today, I took my 2 year old son to church with his Grandmother and Aunt and Uncle. Basically, this means that he goes into a room with about 10 other two year olds and plays for an hour, while I sit in church. This was a Christian church. I think it's called Four Square. Unfortunately I don't pay much attention to those sorts of things. Sometimes I feel bad about using these peoples church for my own purpose. I mean the people that my mother knows there are very good people. They care about each other and the community. They pray for everyone's soul to be saved and and they sing and dance and get re-charged for the rest of the week. I can't bring myself to tell them that I don't really believe in the same things that they do. Not exactly, anyway. I wonder if they would be offended, or ask me to leave. Most likely, they would just pray harder for me to see things the "right" way. Interesting. But I do like the music, and I like the energy that's created by so many people being in one place and opening their heart to a joyful experience. Not many other places cater simply to that feeling. so if you're wondering why I would "subject" myself sunday School now that I have the choice to choose otherwise, that is it. I enjoy it. I just keep quiet about why I'm really there! And honestly, I truly beilieve that it's pretty much the same reason that the rest of them are there, too. I just say it with different words and catch phrases.
Comments (3)
Congratulations on your first post! The Xanga Community welcomes you. Good luck and happy weblogging!
I've been to a couple of pentecostal/charismatic churches, they sure are interesting! Have you heard anyone speaking in tongues yet?
I hear what you're saying about the energy and openness, sometimes I wish I could just raise my hands up in the air, you know, you want to do it when everyone else is. But I feel like such a fraud. And I'm uptight, gotta get a few drinks in me before I'll start waving my arms around. :p
hell, i think the ONLY reason to go to church is for entertainment. so if you're going to hell, i'm apparently right behind you.
you know, when i worked at US bank, there was a very charismatic black government loan insurer named nadine who offered more than once to take me to her church. i had explained that i loathed church and all it stood for based on my (extremely dry and boring) catholic upbringing. if there was any way to turn a person from religion to atheism, those catholic services are It.
anyway, at that time, i had rejected churchgoing on pretty shallow grounds - it's boring, preachy (of course), and a fat waste of fully half of my valuable weekend. later, i came to reject christianity on more feministic grounds, but at the time this is as far as i'd gone.
also at the time, i felt like it would be disrespectful of nadine's church and her religious beliefs generally to accept this invitation just to go to a church where people were excited and fun about going. i didn't want to treat her church like a trip to the zoo or something - where i would see exotic things that i wouldn't see elsewhere in town. i kinda regret it now, and kinda not. i mean, i'm glad that i actually took respect for nadine and her church into account, which really isn't all that usual for a 19 year old, i don't think. still, i wonder if i would have really enjoyed going and gotten something out of it (religious or otherwise) that i couldn't get another way.
i say, if you're enjoying it for any reason, that should be enough. and if your values clash with the church-going folk, well - maybe it's just your opportunity to introduce those values in a way that doesn't use christianity as a base. which could be mind-opening for all of you.
Comments are closed.